From Brisbane to Barcelona: A Therapist’s Perspective on Living and Parenting Overseas
As a fellow Aussie in Barcelona, I’ve often seen Leigh pop up in many of the local Facebook groups I’m part of, and have long been inspired by the fantastic work she’s doing in helping internationals navigate their new lives overseas. Here, she shares her journey of living abroad for over 13 years, including her experiences in intercultural marriage, parenting in a different culture, and running a thriving group psychotherapy practice. Leigh also offers valuable advice for Australian women navigating the challenges and joys of life overseas.
How long have you been away from Australia, and where have you lived?
I’ve been living away from Australia for 13 years. My journey began in Brisbane, where I grew up, before moving to Sydney when I was 19, then Mullumbimby at age 27 and eventually returning to Brisbane at 28. In 2011, I took the leap to Barcelona, a city I had only visited once, the December before I moved, but now call home. I moved for love but since then, Barcelona has become my home—a vibrant and challenging place that has shaped much of who I am today.
Can you tell us the story of how you ended up where you are?
It all started in Brisbane in May 2010, when I met my husband, a Catalan man. I found my “half mandarine,” as Spaniards call their better halves. A summer romance morphed into the bold decision to move to his home country, Spain. He proposed to me in a cafe in Gracia on my visit to Barcelona in December 2010. We married in Brisbane in June 2011 and in August 2011, we arrived in Barcelona as newlyweds, ready to build a life together. Soon after, I became pregnant with our son. Having left my successful psychology practice in Australia, I founded Therapy in Barcelona in December 2011, a solo psychotherapy practice catering to the English-speaking international community. Due to the demand for services both from clients and therapists, Therapy in Barcelona expanded to a group practice in 2018. Both motherhood and entrepreneurship have deeply intertwined with my journey of building a sense of home in this beautiful, complex city.
I love being in an intercultural marriage; it is never dull and full of miscommunications and comedy. I love my husband’s accent and his unique phrasing, and he loves mine. We laugh together often, though sometimes my true-blue Aussie humour doesn’t quite translate. These moments remind me just how far I am from home, if only for a second. But our relationship is a beautiful blend of cultures, a dance between familiarity and novelty. We’re raising our son in a world where both cultures coexist, where for example, the Aussie family plum pudding is celebrated along with the pooping log (Caga Tio) at Xmas, a reality that makes me feel grateful for this journey.
What was the most challenging thing for you?
The biggest challenge has been having two languages to learn and homesickness during life’s pivotal moments. Being far from family when my son was born, and later during times of loss, was particularly painful. The death of my parents in Oz was particularly intense, including the flights there and back, and having to leave my partner and son behind in Barcelona. It was gruelling but we got through it. I also lament my son’s lack of village and elders at times but he doesn’t know any different.
Navigating Spain’s bureaucracy has also added its own set of frustrations, from securing documents to adjusting to unfamiliar systems.
Lastly, there’s the ongoing challenge of cultural in-betweenness. I’ve embraced the hybrid identity of being an Australian living in Spain, but sometimes it does feel a bit disorienting to feel my foreignness if I think about it too deeply! I do remind myself that I’d be so bored if my life was any other way though.
What kind of support do you have? How did you go about finding it?
Building a support network takes time and effort, and I’m still open to finding like-minded souls, even after all these years. Early on, I found camaraderie in language classes and a prenatal group, and I’ve relied on a trusted therapist for the last 12 years, who has guided me through life’s milestones—from childbirth to my parents’ deaths and the growth of my group practice. My therapist is an international too so she understands the challenges I face.
My husband has been and is my rock and I am very grateful I chose a partner who is empathic, helpful and someone I can always rely on. He is protective, loyal, and resilient. His tenacity and support in the ebbs and flows of our intercultural relationship and my immigrant journey, as well as parenthood and running a business, have been essential.
While I made some cool friends in Barcelona, the ones that I especially felt were my people moved on, as often happens in a transient international city. This makes lifelong connections with friends in Australia, maintained through regular phone chats, all the more important. As a busy mum and business owner, I don’t have the time to nurture deep friendships as I once did, but the connections I maintain—both in person in Barcelona and long-distance—are enough for me. I value my solitude, so the relative dislocation hasn’t felt as challenging as it might for extroverts.
I’ve also found meaningful connections through business mentorship and leadership communities, which support both my personal and professional growth. Additionally, building Therapy in Barcelona has fostered a strong team of like-minded people, creating space for others to find connections abroad—a source of quiet pride in my work. Together, these personal and professional connections have allowed me to create a balanced and fulfilling life, even far from home.
What do you see as some of the advantages of living where you do (vs living in Australia)?
Barcelona offers a richness and vibrancy that’s hard to match. The slower pace of life here encourages me to savour the moment. Eating on the street or at your desk is frowned upon and rushing around isn't in sync with the pace of this city. Barcelona requires you to take your time, make time for lunch, relax into people chatting at the pharmacy or carniceria; you can't be in a rush because no one else is! There are unique benefits to living in a city threaded with the attitude of “mañana” or where siesta is a thing. One has to learn to drop the rush of Oz culture and lean into pacing life and enjoying balance. Impatience and frustration will be the only rewards if you cling to the “busy” culture of Australia.
Barcelona’s respect for work-life balance encourages me to savour each moment and allow myself the opportunity to switch off in a way that is just not part of the culture in Australia (or wasn’t when I was there). I was always on Spanish time in Australia (work from 10am to 9pm with lunch around 3pm). I didn't know it at the time, but I did feel out of sync with Australian society, so I relish that I now live in a city where this proclivity is normal, and unjudged. If I am out and about at 9am, I look like an early bird!!!
Living in a walkable city and being able to ditch the dependence on a car, as is the norm in Oz, has been brilliant! My husband and I used a motorbike for 9 years and I still don't have my drivers licence (that's a whole other drama for Aussies here!)
The city’s modernista architecture, Mediterranean climate, and cultural diversity are endlessly inspiring. I’m so in love with Gaudi and my barrio, Eixample. Proximity to other European countries makes travel easy and affordable, which has added a sense of adventure to my life. The language and cultural differences have been simultaneously challenging and enriching. While I sometimes miss Australia and the feeling of not being a foreigner, Barcelona has become my home. Being an in-betweener has become a part of who I am and it has added dimensions to my identity and my life experience I would never have found in Australia. Being an immigrant is a profoundly accelerated path of personal development, if you dare.
The city’s modernista architecture, shaped by Gaudí and others, is a daily reminder to embrace creativity and boldness, while the Mediterranean climate makes outdoor living a year-round reality. Its cultural diversity brings constant opportunities to learn, connect, and grow, making Barcelona a city where tradition and innovation coexist beautifully.
Proximity to other European countries adds an accessible sense of adventure to life here. Weekend trips to Paris, Rome, or Lisbon are not only possible but relatively affordable, opening up an ever-expanding world of experiences.
Yet the very differences that make Barcelona so enriching—the language, cultural nuances, and historical complexities—have also been some of the greatest challenges. Adjusting to these has been both humbling and transformative, forcing me to step outside my comfort zone and reconsider my identity in profound ways.
While I sometimes miss Australia—the wild beaches, meat pies, corned beef, Aussie bird song, bare feet, wild electrical subtropical Queensland storms, the familiar sounds of our native accent, and the comfort of not being a foreigner—Barcelona has deeply shaped who I’ve become.
I now see myself as an “in-betweener,” someone who belongs to both places yet fully to neither. This in-between status has added dimensions to my identity and enriched my life in ways I could never have found if I had stayed in Australia.
Being an immigrant is, in many ways, an accelerated path of personal development—one that strips away certainty, demands resilience, and invites reinvention. It’s not always easy, but for those willing to embrace the discomfort and growth, it’s a journey that expands not just your view of the world but your understanding of yourself. For me, Barcelona has been the crucible in which this transformation continues to unfold, and for that, I am endlessly grateful.
Do you still get homesick? How do you overcome it?
Yes, homesickness is a companion at times, though it ebbs and flows. I miss Brisbane’s subtropical storms, the smell of fresh cut grass and even the sound of lawn mowers, the annoying sarcasm, the weird colloquialisms, the lushness of the nature in Brisbane, the long stretches of empty beaches, the stunning harbour and coves in Sydney, the coffee (the coffee!!), bakeries to pop in to grab a sausage roll and the comfort of hearing Australian accents all around me. I miss the beaches most of all; I call the beaches here “centros comerciales con arena” — shopping centers with sand! They're so crowded.
To manage my twinges of homesickness, I lean on small rituals that connect me to home—like Vegemite on toast, listening to Aussie music, grabbing a Cadbury chocolate or a pie from A Taste of Home or a sausage roll from Funky Bakery in the Born, or making time for calls with family and friends. These little touches keep Australia close, even from afar. I’ve also found solace in sharing stories and laughs with other immigrants, who understand what it’s like to straddle two worlds.
What is your advice for Aussie women looking to do what you’ve done? Any tips to make it easier for them?
Coping with the Distance
As Aussies, we’re not just a quick train or short flight from home—it’s a 13,000-km journey and a 24-hour trip to see family. I think many expats from closer countries don’t fully grasp this. Living so far away demands a unique type of resilience and a sense of bravery, which I think all Australians living abroad share.
Here are some ways I’ve learned to cope with this distance:
Choose your partner wisely. If you’re moving for love or have found love with a local, it’s crucial to choose your partner with care. Take the time to explore their values—especially around parenting, family, and cultural expectations. Pay attention to how they support others and, most importantly, how they show up for you in times of need. Are they empathetic and aware of the unique challenges you’ll face being far from your own family?
A supportive partner will be willing to compromise and adapt, rather than rigidly clinging to their own cultural norms. For example, can they occasionally skip a traditional Sunday lunch with their Spanish family, or are they comfortable setting boundaries with their parents if needed? Will they respect your need for space or let you bow out of family events if they’re not your thing? Are they patient and kind or embarrassed by your language ability when speaking with their family and friends?
Equally important is how they view your partnership. Do they share the workload at home? Can they be counted on to step in when you’re having a tough day, need help with translations, or are struggling with the bureaucracy of everyday life? Are they someone who can truly be a shoulder to cry on and a friend to lean on?
My partner’s tenacity, empathy, and unwavering support have been instrumental in navigating the ebbs and flows of our intercultural relationship, parenthood, and my immigrant journey. From helping me adjust to life far from home to supporting me in running a business, his presence has been essential to my well-being here. I truly couldn’t have done it without him
Get a therapist! Therapy isn’t just for crises or hitting rock bottom. A therapist provides a confidential space where you’re free to explore the complexities of your feelings and thoughts while offering tools to help you grow. Often, people back home won’t fully understand the challenges of immigration, and it’s common to conceal your struggles to avoid worrying them. A therapist can offer you support without toxic positivity (“but you’re so lucky you’re living in Spain!!!”) and a therapist won't panic if you’re in a rough patch. Instead, they’ll help you navigate the unique emotional terrain of living abroad. My team is here if you need support online from anywhere or in person in Barcelona (shameless plug!!).
Create your own support circle. Without family nearby, finding a couple of friends who understand your journey can help. Create your own “village” here, connecting with other internationals who know the feeling of longing for home. These relationships can feel like family, filling the gap left by loved ones far away.
Stay connected in small ways. The time difference is tough, but small gestures help. I set up regular calls with family and friends from Oz. They don’t have to be phone marathons, just a quick call to say hi and have a laugh is enough to refuel! Keeping in touch bridges the gap, making me feel closer to them despite the miles.
Learn the language. You don’t have to achieve fluency—every effort you make helps you connect more deeply with your new home. Give yourself grace; learning one language is hard enough, let alone two, as is often the case in regions like Catalonia.
Lean into rituals from home. When I need a piece of home, it’s Vegemite on toast and a message to an Aussie friend that lifts me. Whether it’s listening to Aussie music or cooking something familiar, small rituals keep me grounded and bring me back to where I started from.
Incorporate elements of your Australian identity into your life abroad—whether it’s through food, music, or regular contact with loved ones.
Be curious and open to embracing local culture. There will be so many new cultural nuances and events and ways of being that will expand your experience and enrich your life. Lean into the freedom of embracing multiple cultures and being who you want to be and living how you want to live. You’re not confined to any one culture’s rules now!! Enjoy it. Absorbing what I love about Spanish and Catalan culture helps me feel more at ease here, creating a sense of belonging.
Learn the history of your new home. Spain and its regions have a rich and complex history. Reading and watching films about it will make this culture and the places you visit everyday come alive for you in new dimensions. I love books like “Secret Barcelona” that share interesting, little known tid bits and historical moments. “Ghosts of Spain” and other nonfiction books like “Barcelona” by Robert Hughes (an Aussie) will get you up to date about how this place and people came to be the way they are.
Follow local news. That helps to understand what is happening and feel a part of it, it also opens up dialogues with natives on the street. El Pais in English, The International Reporter, The Local in Spain, Spain in English and other news sources offer local news in English if you are still learning the language/s. If you're up for it, it can help to learn the language to read the news daily in Spanish or Catalan or Galician or in whatever language you are learning at the time.
Be proud of the distance you’ve bridged. Living so far from home is no small feat. Reminding myself of the courage it takes to create a life here keeps me grounded. We’re not just surviving; we’re creating connections, building families, and redefining what “home” means every day.
Be patient with yourself. Adjusting to life abroad is a journey, not a sprint. Give yourself time to adapt, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Build your village early, but also cultivate the capacity to enjoy your own company. Seek out international groups, local meet-ups, or networks where you can connect with others who share similar experiences. At the same time, find moments to take yourself out on dates and lean into a comfortable solitude.
Laugh at yourself. You will make so many cultural faux pas and find times you can’t communicate beyond the capacity of a small child, and you will get funny grimaces, confused responses, and even laughter. Laugh at yourself, enjoy the discomfort and awkwardness. It’s an opportunity to not take yourself or life so seriously anymore. Feel the freedom in that!
Remember that ‘In-Betweenness’ is a strength. Celebrate your bravery. Be proud of being a foreigner. Remind yourself that the challenges you face are part of what makes the experience so transformative. If it were easy, it would be boring! Not fully fitting in can be a gift. This sense of “in-betweenness” keeps me evolving and open. It reminds me of the resilience I’ve developed and is something I hope my son, as a TCK (Third Culture Kid), will embrace as he grows.
Be ready for surprising new life adventures and kiss the ground you’ve walked on. I had no idea I would create a space for international clients and therapists at Therapy in Barcelona. My life has taken surprising turns in Barcelona that I am so grateful for. However, those surprising turns necessarily have arrived with some hardships and crises too; that’s the nature of taking a road less travelled!
Find out where to buy Vegemite and meat pies. ;)
About Leigh
Leigh Matthews is an Australian psychologist who has been living in Barcelona, Spain, since 2011. Originally from Brisbane, Australia, Leigh lived in Sydney for nearly 10 years and Mullumbimby for 1 year. She is the founder of Therapy in Barcelona, a group psychotherapy practice supporting the English-speaking international community. Therapy in Barcelona comprises an international team of expat psychologists offering personal development and psychotherapy services to the English-speaking international community, including adults, couples, children (5+), teenagers, students, digital nomads, and families. They provide culturally sensitive support to expatriates in Barcelona and worldwide. With a diverse team, they offer various specialties and therapeutic frameworks, ensuring a personalised match for every client.
When Leigh isn’t working, she enjoys exploring Barcelona’s art galleries, indulging in thermal circuits, watching documentaries, reading poetry and writing about her experiences as an immigrant. Married to a Catalan husband and raising a trilingual Third Culture Kid, Leigh balances her love for Australia with the richness of life in Spain. She’s passionate about creating spaces where people feel understood and supported—whether through therapy or the community she has built.
Follow Leigh on LinkedIN, Instagram, or join Therapy in Barcelona’s Facebook Support Group.
To find out more about Therapy in Barcelona and book a free discovery call with their intake coordinators, Joanna or Judy, visit their website www.therapyinbarcelona.com or Whatsapp Joanna on +34644522369 Mon-Thurs or Judy on +34659368335 Wed-Fri.
