6 Things To Be Prepared For When Raising Kids Abroad
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I have to admit: when I was a single twentysomething landing in London for a working holiday, having kids abroad was not on my bingo card. I was focused on my own adventure, soaking up London’s buzzing atmosphere and unpredictable weather, never imagining that a decade later, I’d be navigating the joys and challenges of parenting in a foreign land.
But as we know, life can take you to the most unexpected places. More than ten years later, I’m here in Barcelona with my husband, raising two little girls whose cultural identities are — eclectic, perhaps is the right word?
Not knowing whether to describe them as Catalan or Australian (or whether to add Spanish and Indonesian to the mix) is just one of the many unexpected twists of raising kids in a country that isn’t mine. As you can imagine, the blending of cultures brings unique challenges.
If you’re a parent who’s considering a move abroad (or are already deep in the thick of it), you’re probably already aware that these challenges offer kids incredible opportunities for growth and learning, having the potential to enrich their lives in ways you might have never anticipated.
But, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared for what’s coming your way. So, let’s take a look at some of the things you can count on happening when raising kids abroad — and how to handle them with confidence and grace. (If it’s possible for us parents to handle anything with confidence and grace!)
1. Your Kids Won’t Have an Aussie Accent
Brace yourself for the reality that your little ones might lose that Aussie twang — if they ever had it in the first place. Heck, they might not even speak English half the time — which can be a bit jarring, especially when you hear them chatting away with their friends (while you’re left standing there as a bemused spectator).
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. As every expat parent knows, kids are sponges when it comes to languages. They absorb new sounds and vocabulary with an ease that can honestly make us parents feel a little envious.
In fact, they usually become fluent in the new language much faster than we do. You might even learn a thing or two from them. (And have them take over when it comes to the more tricky administrative conversations!)
Being multilingual is one of the many perks of growing up abroad. It’s a unique experience that can enrich their lives and give them a unique perspective on the world. Plus, it opens doors to new friendships, cultures, and experiences that can shape who they are becoming.
2. Schools Aren’t Like They Are in Australia
Forget everything you know about the Australian school system because honestly — there’s very little of this knowledge that’s transferable!
Figuring out school hours, for example, is always fun. Depending on where you’re living, you might be picking your kids up at 3pm one day, and 5pm the next. Or, if you’re in Catalonia like me, you might be slightly in awe of the parents who make the school trip four times every single day so their kids can have lunch at home.
Then there are uniforms, or lack thereof. In some places, your child might stroll into school looking like they just rolled out of bed (I may be guilty of allowing this to happen on occasion), while others have a strict dress code that dictates every detail, from the polishability (if that’s a word) of their shoes, down to the colour of their pants zippers.
And then there are also the more weighty differences, such as subjects, schooling systems, or even whole year levels that just don’t have an equivalent back home.
Navigating these differences can be challenging, but it also opens the door to an array of experiences that can enrich your child’s education in ways you never imagined. It might not resemble the school days you remember, but it sure does add to the diversity of their international upbringing.
3. The Local Health System May or May Not Be Great
It’s always going to be hard not to compare the local health system with what we have back home. Some things will absolutely frustrate the hell out of you — for example, registration processes that require proof of everything, including your great-great grandmother’s neighbour’s last known address, or medical jargon that might as well be in Latin.
But you might also get lucky and find yourself in a country where the healthcare system works like a dream. If so, you’ll be amazed at how efficient things are, how quickly you can get appointments booked in, and how simple it is to access specialist services.
One thing that will help a lot is learning how to accurately describe your kids’ ailments. In fact, words like “cough”, “fever”, and “snot” in your local language will probably become a regular part of your vocabulary. This can save you from some awkward misunderstandings during doctor visits, where the last thing you want is to be struggling for the right word (especially if your little one is teetering on the brink of a meltdown).
But beyond the vocabulary, take the time to understand how healthcare works in your new home. Each country has its own protocols and practices, so familiarize yourself with how to access services, emergency numbers, and what to expect in terms of treatment.
Building relationships with local healthcare providers can also make a significant difference. For example, having a trusted pediatrician or family doctor who understands your family's needs can ease your worries immensely.
4. Parenting Norms Will Be Different
We all know that a good chunk of parenting consists of dealing with mostly unsolicited opinions. When living abroad, be prepared for all the “helpful” advice you’ll receive from other parents, babysitters, and strangers walking down the street, who somehow know your kid better than you do and are convinced that three layers of clothing isn’t enough in the middle of Autumn.
But also be prepared for coming up against parenting practices that will be completely new to you. For instance, here in Spain, it’s perfectly normal for kids to be out at dinner or playing in the town plaza at 11 PM. (Not on a school night, obviously.)
Of course, the key here is to keep an open mind. As an outsider coming into a country that’s not yours, it will make life a whole lot easier if you’re willing to make some compromises.
At the same time, it’s equally crucial to maintain your core values. Adapt as needed, but don’t feel pressured to embrace every local parenting style.
5. Clashing Values and Challenging Behaviors
As an Aussie parent, you probably hold some strong values, but living abroad can test them in unexpected ways. Your children may encounter local attitudes that could make you cringe, or even downright angry.
Casual racism, for instance, might be more commonplace than you anticipated. It can be jarring to hear comments from locals, such as other parents or even kids, about other minorities or groups - remarks that are dropped in regular conversation and expressed in such a matter-of-fact way, even though they would certainly raise eyebrows back home.
Your first instinct might be to try to educate and change opinions. The challenge, of course, is treading the fine line between doing what you think is right, and being seen as a preachy outsider trying to enforce your views - something which has the potential to backfire big-time. Doing your best to not partake or encourage them (for example, by expressing your discomfort), can be a small first step towards breaking down long-held prejudices.
As someone who has been in these uncomfortable situations more times than I’d like to admit, I personally find it more meaningful to use them as teaching opportunities for my kids, and to discuss why kindness and respect should always prevail. If we’re all doing our part to do the same, it might help to set a more widespread change of attitudes in motion, especially in the younger generation.
6. Identity and Cultural Duality
Being a second-generation Australian and the daughter of migrant parents, I can relate deeply to this experience. Your kids may find themselves in a fascinating tug-of-war between two cultures, feeling torn between their Aussie roots and the new culture they’re immersing themselves in. This can lead to moments of confusion and frustration, but also pride.
One of the most effective ways to support your children is by observing Aussie traditions that connect them to their heritage, and educating them on their deeper significance and nuances (for example, the reasons behind the Change the Date movement for Australia Day). These customs not only foster a sense of belonging but also serve as a bridge to their Australian identity.
At the same time, encourage them to participate in local celebrations, whether it’s a community festival, a cultural holiday, or even simple daily practices that reflect the customs of the new culture. This allows them to experience the richness of both worlds.
You can help your kids navigate their identities with pride by discussing the value of diversity openly. If you also grew up with two cultures, illustrate how you’ve balanced your heritage and the culture you grew up in. Use this as an opportunity to teach them about the importance of empathy and understanding.
Finally, reassure them that they don’t have to choose between being Australian and embracing their new culture; they can be both, and that’s something to celebrate!
Final Words
One of the biggest worries I used to have about raising my kids abroad is that they’d miss out on all the things I loved about growing up in Australia (a kind of FOMO by proxy, I guess you could say).
But after a few years at it, I can see all the good things that have come out of our time here, and how my kids have gained so much from growing up in a different country.
Raising kids abroad is a complex journey, but also a beautiful one. While it can result in endless opportunities for culture shock, my advice is to embrace the chaos, keep your sense of humor, and remember that you’re giving your kids a rich tapestry of experiences that will ultimately shape who they are, for the better.
These experiences will not only help them develop resilience and adaptability - they’ll also foster a deep appreciation for diversity and a broader worldview.
So buckle in and get ready for a wild ride — one filled with unexpected twists, meaningful moments, and a chance to watch your children flourish in ways you never thought possible.
What are some of the other things you’ve learned to be prepared for when raising children abroad? Let me know in the comments below!
